Observations from a Beige Hypocrite

The murder of George Floyd, a Black man, killed by an Anglo Police officer, has surfaced tons of strong feelings across our land.  We were emotionally raw to begin with.  Trump has always been divisive.  Trump totally blew the federal response to Covid-19.  The economy has tanked.  So, protestors and rioters are no great big surprise when bigotry rules and equality and equity are harder topics than bleach and ultraviolet light.  My thoughts and feelings meander.

I have said before and will say again that I am clearly brilliant.  My decision to be born to middle-class white parents was a stunning achievement.  My decision to learn English as my native language was equally earth-shaking.  I chose to be born in the United States, an incredibly wealthy nation.  And, I chose parents who were Christian rather than Muslim or atheist or some other weirdo belief system.  I deserve a ton of credit for at least those four decisions.  Had I been born some other race or ethnicity I would not have prospered as I have.  If I spoke Spanish and not English I would not have prospered as I have.  Had I been born in the 3^rd world I would likely be dead by now.  And if I had been born to Muslim parents I would likely never have been able to even visit the US, much less live here.  Yep, I’m brilliant.  I remain amazed, however, that many of my peers, especially those from high school days, do not recognize their own brilliance having made the same decisions I made.  Perhaps they should spend a week or so as though they were born Black atheists from Somalia. 

White privilege is pervasive, and for many, invisible and deniable.  Like the bully who does not see himself or herself as a bully, or the bigot who cannot see his or her own prejudice and believes that beliefs are based on data and observation rather than outcomes based on other factors.  Or those who simply believe that some human beings are better than other human beings.  Or that for some reason this expanse in North America we call the USA was given by God to Anglo Christians just like the Garden of Eden was given to Adam and Eve.  (I find this particularly amusing since there are no Anglos or White people in the Bible.  Well, maybe Pontius Pilate, but he is hardly a hero.)  I have never felt fear walking into a restaurant or a retail outlet.  I have never suspected that a police car in my rearview mirror would stop me just because of my skin color.  I do not have a history of being enslaved.  I do not have a history of separate schools and separate seating and separate bathrooms and separate water fountains.  Everything around me reinforces the fact that my life matters and I can go and do as I please.  So when I say Black Lives Matter there is an unspoken “too” at the end of that phrase that many White people just do not understand.  I am the right color.  I am beige.

I am also a hypocrite.  I yearn for a society of tolerance.  I yearn for a society that is based on equity and equality, where incomes do not vary by race, where education does not vary by race, where health care and life expectancies do not vary by race, where employment opportunities do not vary by race.  I yearn for an open society not just respectful of diversity but celebratory.  I yearn for a culture that values human beings regardless of race, ethnicity, country of origin, religious belief, gender, sexual orientation, and on and on.

Sadly I must admit that I am a hypocrite.  I am totally intolerant of intolerant people and I totally discriminate against bigots.  I am a beige hypocrite.