Potato Salad

My wife of 40 years and I tend to have the same conversation every afternoon around 4:00 or so.  Debbie and I are both retired and engaged in our own pursuits, but as we approach the evening meal one of us will ask the other of us, “What do you want to do for supper?”  We each toss out ideas, we each have veto power over those ideas.  The ideas include where we might want to go out to eat as well as what we might want to cook at home.  It is a never ending discussion, held seriously each day.  Yesterday more seriously than most.

I quipped, “I’m in the mood to cook out chicken.  You know, cook BBQ chicken on the grill.”  Debbie quickly confirmed that would be fine with her.  I then asked, “If I cook out the chicken will you warm up some Ranch Style Beans and make some of your delicious potato salad?” 

She thought for a second then replied, “The beans are not a problem.  I believe we have some Ranch Style Beans in the pantry.  But I am not sure we have enough potatoes for me to make potato salad.”

“How many potatoes do you need?” I asked.

“At least 4,” she said.

“How many potatoes do we have?” I wondered aloud.

“I believe we have 3 potatoes.  That is what I think; we have 3 potatoes,” she said.

I could have begun a lengthy and, from my point of view, pointless conversation about the number of potatoes we might actually have or how many potatoes I believed we had.  Or I could go to the refrigerator, pull out the crisper drawer where we keep potatoes, and count them.  I see myself as a rational person, so I went to count the potatoes.  One, two, three, four.  We had four potatoes.  I announced we had 4 potatoes, the correct amount needed to make potato salad.

Debbie said, “You are wrong.  I believe we have 3 potatoes so 3 potatoes is what we have.  I don’t care how many potatoes you believe we have.  I believe we have 3.”

I was taken aback.  This was not a conflict of theories, a disagreement over beliefs, a less than a peeling fight.  This was a classic conflict between what she believed to be true versus what was true.  It was true that there were 4 potatoes in the crisper regardless of how many she believed were in the crisper.  I made the mistake of pointing that out.  She was quick to respond.

“I believe there are 3.  I have always believed there are 3.  My parents taught me to believe there are 3 potatoes in the crisper and I believe them.  Everyone in my family believes there are 3 potatoes in the crisper.  Now you come along, thinking you are so smart with all your degrees and such and just announce that you believe there are 4 potatoes.  It doesn’t work that way, bub.  Your belief is wrong and my belief is right.”

Oh wow.  How did I get here?  Let me try again.

“You believe there are 3 potatoes in the crisper.  I know there are 4.  Why don’t you go and count the potatoes yourself and then we can agree.”

“No,” she said.  “You are brainwashed to think there are 4.  I am not going to play into your brainwashing and accept what you believe.  Just because you believe there are 4 does not make it true.”

“I agree.”   I said.  “If I believed there were 4 potatoes and did not count them then my belief is as subject to debate and research as yours.  But I do not believe there are 4 potatoes.  I know there are 4 potatoes.  I know it because I researched it, I verified it, and there are, in fact, 4 potatoes in the crisper drawer.  Please just verify the number yourself.”

“No, I am through talking about potatoes with you and anyone who thinks like you.  You have your beliefs and I have mine.  You will not change my mind.”

I won’t go into what happened next as she called all her sisters and verified that they believed there were 3 potatoes in the fridge.  She called all her Sunday school class members and verified that they believed there were 3 potatoes in the fridge.  She called all her childhood friends and all her current friends and having all lived very similar lives they all believed as she did.  There were only 3 potatoes in the fridge.  Further, they all agreed I must be nuts, I was an idiot, I was brainwashed and I had been misled, taken off the path of true belief.

Sadly, I knew them all to be wrong.  There were 4 potatoes, but I could not convince any of them that their core belief paled in light of what we knew to be true.  I begged them to do their own research, seek information from other sources, and confirm reality by their own eyes.  They all said no.  They did not want to. They would rather just end social discourse with me and hold on tightly to their beliefs.

Very well.  I went to the store to purchase what we actually needed for dinner and came home and cooked the chicken on the grill, warmed French bread in the oven, and peeled and boiled 4 potatoes removed from the crisper.  She heated the beans and made potato salad, feeling smug that I had to go to the store to get another potato. 

This is where we are in our country.  We have a lot of issues and we are looking for answers.  Some believe the answer is 3 potatoes, that is what they have been told, that is what all their friends believe, and they believe that this belief must be defended against all other beliefs.  They see those of us who have gone to the crisper and counted, announced that there are 4 potatoes, as just another belief system.  And they reject that belief system not understanding that they are not rejecting a belief system, they are rejecting truth, reality and the American way.

We must agree on the facts as we know them to be.  Not as we want them to be and not as we believe them to be, but as we know them to be.  There are, in fact, 4 potatoes.  Please check for yourself.  I know it is scary to start down the path of investigating the basis of your own beliefs.  It seems blasphemous somehow.  But it is not.  The pursuit of truth, the pursuit of knowledge, the pursuit of answers is the most human thing we can do.  I will always stand as your ally in the pursuit of truth.

Once we can all agree there are 4 potatoes we can work together to solve the very important issues facing us.  We cannot make potato salad together if we cannot agree on the actual ingredients we have.  Please go to the fridge and count. 

I remain forever grateful that I did not suggest pot roast.  We are still healing from the potato salad, but it was delicious.