Hoods in the Hood: A Robin Hood Variant

You know the tale.  Good King Richard was off fighting Muslims and his wicked brother, King John, took over in his absence, seeking wealth for himself at the expense of what in feudal times was already a very poor population.  John gathered up the properties of other nobles while they were off on the Crusades, and through his hatchet man, the Sheriff of Nottingham, levied heavy taxes on the poor, hard-working serfs.  Robin of Loxley returns from the Crusades, finds his lands claimed by King John, and gradually puts together a band of others who have lost everything.  They hide in Sherwood Forest and begin to steal from the rich.  What made Robin such a noble and lasting folk-hero is that he gave the wealth he stole to the poor people of Nottingham.  Once Richard returned, King John and the Sherriff were outed and peace returned to Nottingham and the surrounding fiefdoms.

The story could have been very different, however.

If King John were as astute as modern day politicians, he would have assembled criers, or spokespeople, to go from town to town, fiefdom to fiefdom, to convince the commoners that Robin was really a thief with no good merits at all.  John would enlist the help of clergymen like Friar Rush, Bishop Bannon, and Father O’Reilly to provide a steady stream of misinformation about Robin.  Among the claims made by John’s henchmen was that Robin was out to do them in by importing Muslim labor.  Not at all true, but a source of fear and concern to the locals.  They argued that the only way life would improve for the poor was to allow the rich to maintain their wealth so that they could support the poor.  Again untrue, but widely promoted.  And finally, that Robin was only interested in helping those who were not willing to help themselves so any support Robin received meant less support for the hard working poor of Nottingham.  Again not true, but because it connected with the fears of the poor, uneducated serfs, was widely believed.

Sadly, more and more of the poor began to believe these liars and friars.  Anger began to grow against Robin.  His deeds, once seen as heroic, were now viewed as promoting the wrong causes.  Many poor hardworking people came to believe they would be better off supporting King John.  King John’s priests even claimed that Robin was not of noble birth and that he was in fact a Muslim.  Robin clearly had some converted Muslims and Africans among his band and racial tensions were used to undermine Robin’s support.

Eventually, John’s PR efforts paid off.  More poor working serfs supported John than supported Robin.  Anglo Supremacists arose to stop Robin.  Wealthy clergy continued to bash Robin from the pulpit.  Rush, Bannon and O’Reily continued to harp at every public meeting.

New groups formed to stop Robin.  They went into Sherwood to root out Robin’s band.  They were hoods in the Hood.  They attacked Robin on every front and gradually Robin’s ability to steal from the wealthy to support the poor came to an end.  John argued that Robin should go to prison and many of the poor agreed with him.

Finally, Robin was vanquished and John took total control.  The poor who supported John seemed glad.  Until a year or two later they realized that no one was stopping King John from taking all their wealth again and that the richest in the land grew richer while the poor were suffering more and more.  Too late, they gave control of the Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches to John who simply used all this new power to make the rich richer and the poor poorer. 

Robocare ended and the poor suffered even more.  As Robin was marched off to prison he cried, “Follow the Money!  See who benefits!” and he was not heard from again, defeated by the Hoods of the Hood.