AMA and AEA

I took my traditional week off this summer to go with my family to fish.  I love saltwater wade fishing.  There is something about standing in the gulf, the rhythm of waves, the tangy saltwater smell, the hint of watermelon in the air as the specs move through, the dancing of the birds as they virtually hover then dive.  Live shrimp and stringer tied at my waist, I bait and cast, free-shrimping in the current.  It is that moment I love, the moment when the bait is out, I am attached by line, rod and reel, waiting for the possible.  Waves were coming in hard from a strong southwest wind, tearing up the surf and beating me, but the action was good, and I stayed with it, jumping waves, spitting water, feeling the trout suck in the shrimp, setting the hook and reeling.  I was off task and out of town.  Therapy.

A wave caught my floating bait bucket just right and jerked it hard against my belt.  It had happened before.  But this time I felt a terrible pain in my lower back all the way around to the front under my rib cage.  It brought tears to my eyes and my legs turned to rubber.  I turned and headed for the shore as the pain got worse.  Then worse still.  I could barely move, and finally crossed the last bar into the shallow water where I struggled to put one foot in front of another.  I knew I had ruptured something, or ripped something loose, and figured I was going to simply bleed to death internally there on the beach I loved.

My son and wife virtually carried me up from the beach, into his truck, for a frantic rush to the nearest hospital.  I broke out in a sweat and was literally dripping perspiration.  This was the worst pain I had ever experienced and could not believe I remained conscious.  Finally, after running red lights and speeding, my precious son safely delivered me to the emergency room where I was placed in a wheel chair and rolled inside.  Paperwork.  Wallowing in pain, sweating, fix me dear God or let me go!

CT scans, ultrasounds, X-rays and finally the drugs kicked in as the diagnosis came in.  I was passing a kidney stone.  A kidney stone?  I had never had one of those before, and knew I did not want to have another.  Once diagnosed, pills prescribed, and feeling really good from the high dose of whatever it was that they gave me, I was ready to get out of there. 

The doctor said they wanted to keep me overnight.  No way.  I was on vacation and the specs were running.  I couldn’t walk a straight line, I felt drunk with meds, and I was still aware of the masked pain, but I did not want to stay at the hospital.  “OK.” The doctor said.  “We’ll release you AMA.”  Against Medical Advice.  I was not angry at him, I was grateful!  He had eased my pain and named the demon within.  I just wanted out, so I left.  And I spent the final three days of my vacation simply lying around in pain, unable to fish.  (Son and wife got back to the beach and continued to catch fish!)

I knew when I left that the doctor was a skilled professional.  He had been to medical school.  He had served an internship.  He knew a lot more about kidney stones than I did.  And yet, I left.  Not in anger, not with regret or recrimination, I just left, AMA.

Every teacher, every principal, every administrator in this district is a skilled professional.  We have been trained, certified and completed internships.  Many of us have additional degrees and a lot of years of experience, and we have seen children enter kindergarten, matriculate and graduate as young adults.  We all take the equivalent of the Hippocratic Oath to do no harm and serve every child to the best of our professional ability.  We offer professional educator advice, and prescribe for your child according to the best research and the best practice we know.  

Sometimes parents, kids or patrons decide on actions for kids against our advice.  AEA, Against Educator Advice.  It may be a parental decision to hold a child back a grade even though they have performed well, it may be to check a child out school for a family vacation or a pep rally, it may be to withdraw a child to home school them, it may be to drop an academically challenging course, etc.  If we know professionally that this is not what we would recommend, we will tell you.  To not tell you would be unprofessional, so, we will tell you.  Parents of course ultimately make the decisions about their children.  That is fine and that is the way it morally should be and the way it has to be legally.  When we give you our best educational advice, please do not be angry with us.  We are honoring our profession and your child.

I went AMA.  You can go AEA if you choose.  Please know there are reasons we offered our advice.  It would be my hope that you respect us for that.