Ambition and Integrity

Ambition.  The desire to get more, have more, rise higher, and improve one’s status and prestige and power.  A subset of ambition is a high sense of competition.  Most folks believe that people do not become CEO’s, governors, presidents, school superintendents, etc. without at least some detectable amount of ambition in their composition.  I see it clearly in Trump and clearly in Clinton.  That drive to excel, to be the alpha, to be the boss, to control, to be on top is very near the surface in both these candidates.  I have seen it very clearly in many of the educators I have worked with, especially administrators.

Integrity.  The commitment to do what is right, to tell the truth, to do no harm to any other, to honor and serve humanity.  Most folks believe that people do not become teachers, nurses, preachers, social workers, or counselors without a detectable amount of integrity in their composition.  I have seen it clearly in many of my fellow church members, in my fellow educators, especially teachers.  That drive to serve, to stand for what is best in all of humanity, to make lives of others better, and to do so with humility is near the surface in the folks we know who have integrity.

So my query is, can one have both ambition and integrity?  I am not so sure.

Among other activities I was in the band in high school.  I played the clarinet.  I loved playing in the band, I loved knowing I was a part of something bigger, something beautiful.  I really did not care about competition with fellow band members, I cared about the sound we were making together.  I sat first chair, placed there by an audition everyone took at the beginning of school.  The band director placed us based on our musicality and technical skill.  Deanie was second chair.  She was very competitive and felt from the beginning that she should have been first chair.  I did not care, first chair and second chair played the same music.  So after a couple of weeks of her loud sighs and deep moans, and what appeared to be real joy on her part when I missed a note or a beat, I asked her if she would really like to be first chair.  She said “yes.”  I said it was OK with me, and the next day when we walked into band Deanie sat first chair and I sat second chair.  My role in the band had not changed, my music had not changed, but I had won a new friend.  Deanie was all over herself thanking me.  The director came in and rehearsal started.  Suddenly he stopped and pointed out that Deanie and I were not sitting in our assignment chairs.  I told him that I had told Deanie she could be first chair, I did not care.  The director blew up and called us both in his office.  

His complaint was that he will make all chair decisions and he did not want anyone in his band who did not have the desire to improve.  I told him I had taken private lessons since 6^th grade, I practiced at least an hour each night, and I was fully aware that I was the best in the section, and that improving my ability to play the clarinet was very important to me, but that where I sat did not matter to me.  He blew up and asked me to leave the band.  I packed up my instrument, grabbed my books and went to the counselor to have my schedule changed, never again to play the clarinet or perform or march with the band.  And though I had been all region in band and won numerous UIL solo and ensemble awards, I was done.  I was re-assigned to speech and debate, and two years later won the state debate competition and oratory competition.  If there is competition someone wins and someone loses.  I had a great time in band and a great time in speech and debate.  The band director lost because he was so full of ambition and competition that he could not relinquish control.  He could not even picture making a decision for the greater good even if it meant self-sacrifice.

I have watched parents at little league games, boys and girls, football, baseball, softball; and parents of integrity regarding their kids in most settings become ambitious monsters if they believe their child has somehow been slighted, or has not been given enough playing time, or someone is picking on them, etc..  How many videos of fights at little league games do we have to watch to see ambition blinding reason.  When the desire to be the best at any cost drives our ambition, then we are willing to sacrifice even the most fundamental rules of human interaction to have our way.

I have seen parents of school children verbally assault school employees because they wanted something special for their kids.  Usually they could not recognize that universal fairness eliminates special treatment.  In cases of unusual needs, special treatment is warranted, but not because the parent perceives his or her kid to be gifted or somehow immune to the rules everyone else is asked to follow.  Such parents’ ambition for their kids blinds them to the integrity incumbent in any group setting.

I worked for 19 years in a Houston school district.  I had many roles from campus to central office leadership positions.  One weekend the superintendent, who was mad at one of us on the executive director level, re-assigned all of us by simply rotating executive directors from their current job to someone else’ job.  I ended assigned to take the job of a woman who loved program evaluation and assessment.  I would hate that job.  She was assigned to elementary instruction, and she hated that job.  My best friend was bumped from leading secondary instruction to staff development.  I could not remain in a system that advocated collaborative decision making, advocated involving the participants in decisions if the decisions affected them, and advocated everyone working in an area of their own interest while behind the scenes people were moved like pawns with no consultation or involvement.  I quit.  So did a dear friend who was moved to staff development.  She was most hurt by all of this and I could not tolerate such.  Ever since, I have watched the overly ambitious accept jobs at the expense of others, somehow rationalizing that if it is good for them it must be good. No, to accept a position that requires someone else who is competent to leave what they love is the epitome of high ambition and low integrity.  People of integrity would recognize what the system must value to effect such a change and leave that system.  I did.  Do no harm applies to others, not one’s self.

Through all the pain and agony and death and anger of 9/11 the only real joy was the unification of the citizens of this country, however brief, toward the same goals.  We honored first responders, those in the military, families who had lost loved ones, and stood in awe and celebration of individual self-sacrifice for the good of others.  Our definition of heroes changed. Heroes were now people of integrity.  They were not people of ambition.

I know that people of ambition tend to earn more money and sit in seats with greater power.   Or so it seems.  But for the rest of us working with or for people of ambition our respect drops substantially.  We most respect people who serve others more than self.  I am in shock every time I hear of a CEO getting a bonus while the company lays off workers.  There is no integrity in such a decision.  Only ambition. And any time someone tells you that they are the only one who can do it and that others are failures, it is an announcement of incredible ambition at the expense of integrity.  Any time a person’s list of accomplishments includes only those ventures that earned them more money or power they are not a person of integrity.  Give me a leader who strives if nothing else to do no harm.

So, I find it rare to see in any person an even balance of ambition and integrity.  When push comes to shove, people will jump either for self-service or service to others.  And in that jump we see their true colors.