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Monday, May 12, 2014

When Automatic Isn’t



I drove to visit my Mom yesterday (Saturday) for Mother’s Day.  It was a beautiful day, nice weather to and fro.  I set the climate control in my truck to AC with a temperature setting of 72.  In 10 minutes I was still hot.  I lowered the temperature to 70, and the AC continued to blow luke warm air.  I cranked it down to 60 and finally got cold air blowing out of the vents.  Somewhere some engineer decided it would be cool, pun intended, if my truck decided the amount of coolness to blow out of my vents rather than allowing me to do so.  I remember previous vehicles that had a manual sliding control knob that slid from all blue cold to all red hot and I simply placed the knob where I wanted it.  Worked all the time.  Now I have to circumvent, pun intended, the automatic climate control to get the temperature I want.  I guess auto engineers think I do not have enough sense to know when I am hot and when I am cold and they must make that decision for me.  Drives me nuts.

I have a new string trimmer with automatic line advance.  Really?  My old weed eater was bump and go; every time I bumped the head of the trimmer on the ground more line came out.  It was great, never failed me, until I burned up the motor.  The new trimmer is more powerful and lighter, but the trimmer decides when I need more line, I don’t.  It has some kind of centrifugal force mechanism that senses when the line is too short and releases the gear that keeps the line wound on the spool.  Problem is, of course, this automatic mechanism is not the one trimming weeds and edging driveways.  I am.  If I leave it alone the line will eventually get so short I cannot cut, or worse, breaks off altogether and I must stop, remove the cover, pull off more line manually, push it through the hole in the housing and put it all back together again.  Or, I can rev the motor and let it stop when the device releases a quarter inch of line.  I must tell you I feel pretty stupid standing in my yard, revving the motor, letting it stop, revving the motor and letting it stop 8 times to get 2 more inches of line.  Or, I can turn the trimmer over, manually release the spool and pull out the line I need one little click at a time.  None of these steps is nearly as efficient as bumping the head on the ground while I am trimming and never miss a beat.  I have no idea why this automatic line advance system was implemented.  Sounds great, it just never works.  I guess the trimmer engineers think I do not have enough sense to know when I need more line or not.  Drives me nuts.

We had big thunderstorm Friday night and it not only knocked out the power, it fried my DSL modem.  Fortunately computer, printer, etc. are all OK.  I happened to have a back-up modem and I unplugged the old modem and plugged in the new one.  I attempted to connect to the internet, but no such luck.  The lights on the modem let me know it was not connecting.  I went to my control panel (also a misnomer as I really do not control this at all – it is the computer’s control panel) and clicked on “install new hardware.”  After many searches, clicks and troubleshoots my computer informed me I had no new hardware to install.  Everything is fine, it told me.  All network connections were connected and I was both sending and receiving information bytes to and from the internet.  Great!  So why can’t I get on the internet via either Explorer or Firefox?  I guess the computer knows more than I do about whether I just plugged in some new hardware or not.  Drives me nuts.

I am a believer in trying all the latest and greatest.  I am not of the digital generation but I am a well-established immigrant.  I am not totally stupid.  I can read directions and follow them.  With new devices I always do so.  (I am one of those nerds who will not leave the dealer parking lot until I have read the owner’s manual for a new car.)  I support innovation, change and improvement.  I love not having to manually fill ice trays anymore.  I love setting my coffee pot to brew the coffee before I get up.  I love punching a couple of buttons on the microwave to get food warm.  I love the back-up camera in my truck.  I love answering machines, automatic redial, smart phones, computers, etc.  All these and many more are labor saving devices that have improved my life. 

However, It appears to me that some of the engineers who are designing some innovations have held a secret meeting to conclude that we are all idiots and we must have our devices make decisions for us.  And that drives me nuts.

Such design innovations that do not work, such newly installed automatic features that in fact are less efficient and effective than the previous model should somehow be banned.  None of the innovations I have struggled with recently were in any way labor saving or more effective than the previous model.  Did anyone complain about their bump and go weed eaters?  Did anyone complain about setting the coolness of the air in their vehicles using an analog sliding control knob?  And how in the world does my computer have the audacity to tell me I have no new hardware when I just took it out of the box and plugged it in?  I have yet to find the control panel application that allows me to say, “Windows, it is you who are stupid, not me.  Do as I direct you.  I own you.”

Such decisions remind me of legislative decisions, made by lay people, regarding how to improve schools.  Such decisions do not work, such decisions are engineered to fill a need that does not exist, and such decisions make things worse.  Such decisions assume the users and practitioners are idiots and must be controlled and directed by others.  Schools cannot be improved via mandated automatic innovations and measuring devices designed by billionaires and politicos any more than my truck is now better at keeping me cool with an automatic AC. 

When I cool off, finish the yard and reconnect to the internet I will post this.  Until then know I have been driven nuts by the automatics that are not.  Up to you to decide if my trip to “nuts” was long or short.

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